Forgive and Forget

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the

 prisoner was you." --Louis B. Smedes

I have been thinking of all the thoughts that are holding me prisoner.I have been asking myself can I set myself free of all those memories which every time bring pain and hopelessness to me.In fact I realised that these memories set a chain reaction.As soon as I recall one many other pain full thoughts come back to haunt me.Then I drown into sea of compassion and self pity.I even cry my heart out sometimes.So when I thought of getting rid of all this some how the pleasure of  remembering  the pain and wallowing stopped me from doing that.Does this happen with you too? Do you also enjoy this trip of self pity? Is it not something like going on a ride where we know we shall be freaked out with fear but we still go as we enjoy the fear.

Think!!!!!

human and parents: Human and Natural Disaster

human and parents: Human and Natural Disaster: Whenever we hear of a natural disaster we read it as a statistical report, as to how many dead, how many dislodged and then we continue wi...

Human and Natural Disaster

Whenever we hear of a natural disaster we read it as a statistical report, as to how many dead, how many dislodged and then we continue with our life as usual.We never ever assume that we will ever be caught in the same.Somehow we are very confident that this could never touch us.

As the world is aware Kashmir in India is badly hit by floods.I had been following this news just like everybody else.Seeing news on television,talking about it at lunch, but was there any productive contribution from my side no not at all.In fact as I mentioned I am also complacent about thinking that though Kashmir is some 1000 km away from my place that this can never happen to me.

Yesterday during the night when I got up to go to washroom ,a thought stuck me that all those who are stuck at the top of their houses waiting for help cannot even hope for a simple convenience of going to toilet at their will.The thought sent a chill through me at my callous attitude of rejecting the whole thing as a statistics data. Somehow the magnanimity of  suffering had not touched me as I was so busy with my daily chores.The fact that each one there lost the chance of just doing their daily chores is a very very painful thought if you think about it.It will take each one of them minimum two to three years to just start off again ,let alone to get over their losses.Some will be scared for life as they will have lost not only their homes but members of home too.

I know even now I cannot do much for them except may be give financial help that too not worth a life but we all can pray for those who have lost their everything and that is what can be our contribution as human.

Let us all be more sensitive to pain of others. Let us be more concerned about the situations around us.

Mobile and Me

I had recently got a new mobile.My children while telling me the features also told me how I should always close the running applications which are not in use.They said it helps mobile to perform better.
We as human have so many applications running in our mind which we are not using any more.Do we ever get around to closing them. 
Grudge Application:There are so many grudges we hold in our mind, against the people who have done wrong to us, even when they are no longer part of our life.We think of them again and again and torture our selves with all that happened long ago.
Better Answer Application:This is our favourite. We mull over and over on our answer or handling of particular situation as to how we could have done it better.We even go step further to imagine the different result that would have come out of that situation due to the new answer we work out every time we think of it.

Choice Application: This is another one which is always active.We put everything from a pair of shoe to our hubby in this and think over and over how we could have made a better choice.

We need to learn to close all these applications as they are of no use anymore.However hard we try we cannot change our past.

Let us work towards a better future instead.

Parent as Teacher

Parent is always a teacher. He is a teacher that need not preach, but who is being observed very very carefully by his student i.e. his child. This child will absorb all he sees . He might not comment on your action, but trust me he is observing. He will be observing your behaviour with your parents,your sibling, your partner and world at large.He will observe your moral values,your behaviour with less fortunate,your way of handing tension,your eating-drinking-smoking habit.So to sum it up you are the actual teacher of your child ,the teacher he meets in school is a mere educationist and may be little beyond if she has that compassion and fire in her.But the whole shape of character of your child is dependent on you. You will have to do what you preach because child is very intelligent,he will realise the difference between your action and speech.So next time before ticking your child off at any of his unacceptable action,try to analyse where has the learning of this action come in.

So to build the character of your child first mend your own and behave every moment the way you would like him to become.

Parents and Hope

What defines hope of parents?

Is it based on critical analysis of the capability of your child?
Is it based on aspirations your child has planned for self?
Or
Is it based on the blind faith that my child is THE BEST ?

The relationship between child and parent is very strange.The parent always wants to give the world to his child and he also expects the best from his child.In this whole process the parent forgets the capability and limitations of his child.He forgets that there is a unique combination of chemicals that make each human being special.This applies to every human and that includes your child too.

The next common error is a mathematical calculation of genetic heritage.Yes it is true most of the time but it is not a certain happening.As parent we should be ready for the surprises packed by God for us.It can be more than our expectation or less than ours.

In all this never loose hope because hope is like a prayer we send out to Almighty, to support and fulfill our dreams.

Expectations and Parents

Who can define the level of expectation a parent should have from his kid ?

What can be the result of this expectation?

Will the expectation motivate the child to work harder to achieve it?

Will the thought of not been able to meet the expectation depress the child ?

Should the expectation be high and beyond so as to motivate the child to reach impossible?

Will a very high expectation , discourage the child?

I can keep on throwing end less questions at you, but the truth is this is not mathematics that will reach a particular situation which ever the way you go.This is reality which actually behaves very uncharacteristic.

You are always left with a bad feeling that had you put in a little more stress the result would have been different or had you taken some other path the result would have been positive.Well we all forget that whatever happens had to happen in that order only. We were supposed to behave in the order we did, the decisions were already laid out we just executed them.

So, stop traumatizing yourself and enjoy the journey called LIFE.