Parents are the Strongest and the Weakest

Interesting statement isn't it.

Yes I know what I have written.
I shall support it with interesting incidences.My husband is not a physically strong man but he is a strong father.He is always on the side of his sons supporting them in hour of need.I still recall an event that took place recently.We were walking near our house at night and we saw a few boys shouting at each other. The street lights were low so we could not see them properly .I saw a tall guy who looked like my elder son so I just passed a comment that I hope it is not him in that group.And before I could even go for the next comment my husband was already sprinting towards that group of boys to check out if our son was not there.He did not weigh his chances of physically being able to handle the situation, he had no plan of action ready; he just jumped in to support his child.
Now the contrary.Yesterday while driving back from an exam our car was hit from behind.This was no fault of ours because we had to apply brakes as car before us slowed .This guy who got down from the other car was a young guy who was travelling with his father.He started abusing us and even held my husband by his collar. But in all this my husband kept his cool as he knew that if he reacted then so will  our son and he was scared of the consequences of that.

Why Can't Parents Grow Up?

Why Can't Parents Grow Up?

There are some special organs which get developed in humans when they become parents .The development of these special organs stunts the growth of parents - not physically but emotionally.

First lets discuss these special organs - theses organs grow over the heart area of humans that become parents.It not only effects their heart but their sense of reasoning too.Also this growth is exponential so it becomes worst with age.
Why I am saying it becomes worst with age because as the parents grow old they have lesser worldly duties so they have time to indulge in their favourite preoccupation that is child.In the sea of relationships they have developed over the time there is only one shining star that is their child and the rest are there to  support this star so dare any body do anything to disturb let alone trouble their star.He will be their sworn enemy.
And of course needless to say there is no creation created by All Mighty which stands equal to their child so the life partner of their child is always at the firing end.

Do parents grow up ?

There was a knock on the door around 9 one night and when I opened it, I found her standing there with her young son.  He did look weak and sick.  I called them in and heard the story – the young boy had been working in a faraway place, his first stint away from home.  He could neither put up with the place nor stand the food and soon fell ill with small pox.  She had brought him home in that condition and nursed him back to health.  And  now hearing about my workplace and my ability to talk to people concerned, she was knocking on my door.  R was the age of my younger brother – about 6 years younger than I was – 20 to my 26.  Soon he found a place in the computer section of my office and she became a

regular visitor. 

Long ago – when her husband was still living – she had been my aunt’s neighbor. His untimely death had driven her to a job in a tailoring factory to bring up her only son who was her sole support in life.  All this I learnt after that night time knock. 

R did well at work – I got married and left to set up home but my family remained in touch and they became our ‘adopted’ family.  R too got married – rather unhappily and compounded his miseries by losing his job and then adopting a girl child who is even today intractable.  To add to it all, she ran away from home, got married to someone and is now saddled with another girl child . 

My family continues to be in touch with ‘maami’ as we call her and that is how she is here with us in the sweltering heat to attend the 80^th birthday of some old friend.  She herself is now 78, wheezing and unable to take her mind off her son and his family.  He has not worked for the last 20 years or so  and is forever quarrelling with someone or the other. 

If parenting a small child is a challenge, how does one parent an elderly parent who refuses to grow up even as she grows older ? Her body does not let her do too much – her only conversation is about the bad behavior of her daughter-in-law and adopted grand daughter.  Her only concerns every morning are whether her son has slept well the previous night or had his breakfast.  Even when watching TV, all she is thinking of is what happened in a similar situation.  She can recall every word of a bitter conversation or argument. 

I am wondering about the wisdom of ‘come grow old with me, the best is yet to be’ !

Do parents grow up ? 

Management Theories and Parents

All the management theories go for a toss when applied to this unique industry of "Parenting".

Father who can be assigned the post of CFO-Chief  Financial Officer 

Mother who is a graceful COO-Chief Operating Officer with her team of maids,drivers,laundry man,vegetable vendors....

And guess what is this large organisation working for-

A smooth-comfortable-luxurious-living of their most coveted-one and only -needless to say-"The Best"

production-aka-KIDS

All the powers that have been vested in these two posts by Management Theories are not even visible here.

Yes all the duties assigned to these jobs stand in double.

The worst is this is a NON PROFIT ORGANISATION as neither COO nor CFO get paid for their services .On the contrary they are stripped of their funds and have to go out and slog elsewhere to support this organisation.This organisation stands on the principle theory of a phrase 

" CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME".

Parents and Guilt

Parents and Guilt

I think these are the synonyms all dictionaries have missed.These are same words.As soon as you become parents guilt follows.

Your toddler got wet in middle of the night and you were dead from the day's work, so did not get up.Your neighbours baby weighs 2 mg better than yours so you must have missed out on giving healthy diet to your child.Your fancy dress preparation for the school competition could not help your child win prize.The dress you wore at parent teacher meeting -the way you conducted yourself with fellow parents was not up to the mark.

The list is endless and do not even imagine in your wildest dream that you will be out of this when they grow up.You have to keep track of college admissions.You should know the best institutes to prepare from.You have to keep tab of the jobs to apply for.Again an endless list.....

Children and Mathematics

Children and Mathematics

I recall one of many conversations with my mother on this.My mother is a typical parent.parent. In fact she is a parent and a Capricorn so a deadly combination.
Let me explain the intensity of this combination.The typical trait of a Parent I have already explained but a combination of parent and Capricorn can only be understood by those who have such parents.These are most and when I say most I mean most possessive out of any other type of parents.
So that makes me a lucky special child as I have a mother who is on constant en devour to make my life live able. So this means not only worrying about my present but future too.

Now that I have given you the background let me get back to the conversation.She said she is lucky to have us as her kids as we care for her but I should be careful as I am dealing with a very-very materialistic generation so I should not have any expectations from them(my kids).At that time I gave her a very logical answer as to how intelligent and aware I am .How I have not pinned any hopes on them and I have a fool proof retirement plan ready.

But yesterday an interesting thought stuck me.
Our relationship with our kids is same as God's relationship with us.
As we are only takers from God with out his expecting any return why can't we do the same with our kids.Can we not just give lots n lots of love-care without any expectation of return?
Can we not enjoy the journey of growing our kids without the calculations of return to the favours given coming in?

Parents-As We Know Them

Whenever we think of our parents it brings smile on the face and peace in the heart.That is the magic and charisma they have.They have been an epitome of sacrifice.They have never had courage to take chances as they were deep rooted with fear for their kids. In fact they never ever lived their life.They always lived through us.

Our dreams were their dreams .Our problems were their to worry.Our hopes were their cherish.They always had time for our personal-educational-spiritual-social upbringing.The term "QUALITY TIME" was not there for their rescue as may be they needed that term not so much for their kids but for their own self.

Parents-The special species

I feel humans are over shadowed by parents.Parents are that part of humanity that is as raw as the day when for the first time humans held their "Bundle of Joy" and decided to dedicate their existence around it.

That day and today parents are the same.There is very rare derailment from the set pattern ,may be once in history of 10 years you see a human rising above parenting and objecting to the institution of parenting but rest tow the line.

Parenting is a self- inflicted subjugation because the day we hold our baby for the first time it grabs a part of our heart and keeps it as ransom for our life time.

Human and Parents

It is interesting to observe that really there are two categories of people -one individual and other parent. The two are as different as possible.