Human and Ego

We are an interesting species.
We fight when we are right and are considered wrong.We also fight when we are wrong so that we can be considered right in spite of being wrong.So all we do is fight.
And why do we fight? 

We fight because our ego is hurt.
Ego is a massive part of us. All through all religions have been talking of getting rid of this ego, but somehow it seems to be nondetachable part of us.

When we are right, our ego does not let us accept any body considering us wrong. Why? 

This is because as soon as we do something right we consider ourselves so good that we feel that we have developed a halo around us and are just next to God.Now when we are next to God all should like us love us and of course never doubt our word.
When we are wrong we are so sure that we have done everything required to cover our tracks that nobody can catch us.Also we live by the policy -offence is best defense.

So as soon as anybody even shows a little doubt in our statement we pounce on him.
Is it not possible that in case we are right then at least we should calmly deal with allegation? We should explain our point politely without getting perturbed.Lets try....

Teens and Parents

Yesterday I talked about teens, today is parents day. Not really parents day as that is a myth. There is no such day existing in this world. You only read about such things in fairy tales or see in animated movies.
All days on this earth belong to children and the earlier one realises it the better is the relationship.
Now do not get discouraged . Just  get smart. You have entered a maze with more than one exit. Every day will add to reaching the best exit.
Only the beauty is that may not be the exit you had  envisaged.
In all this business of parenting, the teen period is toughest. The parents of teens are in for a roller coaster ride that too with lots of elements involved.
You have a totally confused human to deal with. This fellow does not know what it needs. You will have to create your own personal concoction, no generic rules will work here. Especially do not do what your parents did.

Think.......

Some ground rules common to all

Do not compare with better species around as this does not motivate but certainly irritate.
Be patient for your turn of being heard, you will be heard but after the whole world has got its chance.

Be around to support in case of fall over and do not ,I repeat do not say I told you so.

Love and understand them,this is the time they need you the most but will also not admit this fact.

Best of Luck...

Parents and Teens

Teenage is the toughest part of growing up for a person. This is the most happening time when massive physical changes are taking place in your body and mind is on its own trip.
To top it all this is career making time so parents are hounding you to plan, work and concentrate on your studies. While if asked that you have a lot on your mind but not studies.
You have a whole lot of friends to impress . There is a large communication network that has to be maintained.
The pressure of looking the best is killing.
In all this there is still a corner in the
brain which says listen to the poor parents who are waiting with books in one hand and may be glass of milk in other. They know that this couple means well but they are torn between the need to act grown up and need to lie in the secure warm lap of their parents.

Illusion and Human

My visit to Universal Studios, Singapore was a very educating one,especially the Transformer Ride.I must first appreciate the effort and creativity involved in creation of 4D illusion. The whole scenario is able to create the fear and anxiety it is supposed to do.In our heart we are all aware that there is no such danger that we are in and as soon as we remove the spectacles they have given us it will all vanish but neither do we remove them nor do we pacify ourselves that nothing is wrong ,in fact we enjoy the whole panorama created around us.We shout to our hearts content and feel scared to the deep recesses of our brain.

Isn't the world too same kind of illusion.

We know that nothing is going to stay the same for long. We learn this through experiences in our own life ,but we still fear the fear. Remember the fear of being scolded by the teacher for not carrying the home work notebook. Is the intensity of that fear as strong today as it was then? No. Why not? This is because that event has passed and we are not at that spot any more.We always hear this saying : This too shall pass, but we never are able to remember it when we are in pain.We are so engrossed in the suffering that we have no faith that there is a power which will help us out of this and make our life better. In fact we start to sympathize with ourselves and even enjoy wallowing in sorrow.

While all we have to do during the tough time is to hold fast to our faith in Almighty and wait for it to pass.

Miracle and Me

These days I always reflect on events that happen and try to work out the reason behind its happening..

I had gone out for my annual holiday to another country . As per my nature I am not very comfortable in new place as I get worried about things even as mundane as breaking something and which I did promptly on my second day.

Yes! I managed to break a cup in the hotel.I worked myself up to what I will have to pay for this and promptly called up the reception telling them about the happening. And all the while this played in the back of my mind that why did this happen, because as I mentioned I am very careful to avoid any such mishaps so I couldn't compromise to it being one off event. Needless to mention i even called on almighty to get me out of this issue.

Voila! when we checked out the hotel manager did not mention the loss. This put me again into thinking mode as to what lesson was God giving me through this.

Then I realized the lesson : I always ask my God to help me out of small messes which are not even worth an effort from Him but I never call Him for bigger issues or bigger hopes ,imagining that these are even tough for Him.But are they tough for Him or is it my lack of faith that makes me not call Him then...

Dead or Alive

It seems life is on the run...

Yesterday I wrote about pain ,today it is death. I got this news just now that my nephew lost his young 43 year old music teacher to heart fail.This teacher happened to be the son of my teacher.When I was talking to my nephew ,he told me how they had their music class yesterday and he was planning to conduct a test next week.This made me realise that the death must have caught him totally unaware. If you are really sick then you might be little ready for death though I always feel that when death seems close ,you fight the best. It is very easy for us to talk about death but when it comes staring into our face most of us will chicken out. I am quite sure I will, because if you ask me to die right now though it might seem lucrative considering all the problems of life ,I would like to hold on to life to see where all this will end.I would like to see the impacts of my decisions taken in present, I would like to see how my children will shape up, the list is endless.Maybe that is why we are never asked when we would like to die,but are politely but firmly plucked from the rigmarole of life and set on the path unknown.

So I ask again ,what I asked yesterday.
Are we really in control or are controlled?

Is human really powerful?

A news really disturbed me to the core:

There was a freak accident in Delhi, India where a lady lost her two year old child. In her unsuccessful attempt to save that child both her arms got burnt. This resulted in loss of job for her and an extra expenditure of medical treatment. This family has another child who has a liver problem, so has to be on the regular treatment.
The loss of her income has hit the family hard.
When I read this it just struck me that the family was as it is at Hand-to-mouth state, with all this happening they have landed into the worst state.
What prompts such events?
How can we avert it?
Do we have any power to avert it?
If not then what are we so proud of?
Think...

The toughest lesson !

The toughest lesson for today's parent to teach is FOLLOW THE RULE

Break the barriers, break the boundaries - is the constant mantra.  Then how can we stick to rules ?  How can progress happen if we don't break these rules ??

And so we happily find every occasion to break a rule. 

The best examples of this are to be seen on the streets.  Wherever possible we take the wrong side to save on time and precious petrol with little heed to that stupid pedestrian or the rule that says it is a one way street.  Where a left turn means going further down and traversing double the distance to reach the bus stop, you will find every mother (not to speak of some fathers too) - whether on a two wheeler or in a car - zooming down the wrong side. After all, who is to catch them and question them ?

What is the lesson we are teaching the children ? 

The journey from 'can't ' to ' won't' ...

"My child just won't listen to me - only you as a teacher have the capacity to make him/her  listen.  So, please speak to him/her .. "

An oft repeated statement by parents of all ages (both their own and their children's too) at school PTM's. 

What a wonderful way to shirk the responsibility of talking to a child and making him/her understand a viewpoint or if needed discipline them. Did the parents of yesteryears do this ?  They focussed on their parenting role and left the schools and teachers alone to do their job . 

What has changed ? 

The tremendous spurt in disposable income which makes parents think that they have to fulfill their child's every wish - even saying no to an incorrect demand might affect their fragile relationship !

Malcolm Gladwell in "David & Goliath" explains this dilemma of the 'new immigrants to wealth' who have to make a transition from 'we can't afford it' to 'we won't afford it' - that is a tough call indeed !

Human and Destiny

I was reading about child bride in many parts of the world and it made me again wonder about destiny.

 Isn't it just mere bad  luck that ensures that you land at such places by birth?
What is that power that decides it for us?
What are the factors that control this decision?
Is it not a clear evidence of existence of a power beyond comprehension of our insight that controls us beyond birth and death?
Think!

Moving On

It is very essential in life to expect and accept change.This change can be of any nature.It can be in behaviour of people around you .So always be ready to accept this change gracefully when it comes.When I say gracefully I do mean without creating any hue and cry, but I also mean without any heartburn for yourself.People do change with time ,unfortunately we are never ready to accept that .We feel we own them and then expect them to behave the same for years to come.This is not possible because we humans are learning and growing every moment.Each of us has a unique learning curve, which is giving us endless new experiences and hence changing our view point on situations around us.We are all changing and we accept this change in ourselves, but are not ready accept the change in other.So be ready to accept it ,it will save you of a lot of pain and trauma.Hence move on and in actual be always on move...